The Cosby Show quotes

222 total quotes



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Cliff: [Phone rings.] Oh, not another Vanessa caller. [answers] Vanessa's residence? No, she cannot come to the phone right now. Because it's now 10:01, and she cannot take any calls past 10:00. No I cannot take a message, I am her father. I'm a doctor, I graduated from medical school, alright? Thank you for calling, this is a live voice.

Cliff: [to Theo] A vacation is something you get when you have a job and work. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you didn't work hard all summer. You were the hardest worker I ever saw, at begging, begging for money for pizza, begging to stay up later to chase little girls who didn't love you. And son, now, you get to rest. [Theo falls back on the bed] You get to go to school!

Cliff: [to Theo] A vacation is something you get when you have a job and work. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you didn't work hard all summer. You were the hardest worker I ever saw, at begging, begging for money for pizza, begging to stay up later to chase little girls who didn't love you. And son, now, you get to rest. [Theo falls back on the bed] You get to go to school!

Cliff: [Yelling at some snowball-throwing kids] This is Dr. Huxtable! I delivered some of you! I'm a parent and a taxpayer! And I am probably the only adult who will sue little children!

Cliff: [Yelling at some snowball-throwing kids] This is Dr. Huxtable! I delivered some of you! I'm a parent and a taxpayer! And I am probably the only adult who will sue little children!

Cliff: Clair, Clair. Clair! [kisses Clair] Clair, Clair, it's the first day of school!
Clair: It's the first day of school?
Cliff: First day of school!
Clair: We get the house back?!
Cliff: We made it through the summer! And now all we have to do is get them out of the house, and if you and I are good about it, we can get them out in ten minutes!

Cliff: Clair, Clair. Clair! [kisses Clair] Clair, Clair, it's the first day of school!
Clair: It's the first day of school?
Cliff: First day of school!
Clair: We get the house back?!
Cliff: We made it through the summer! And now all we have to do is get them out of the house, and if you and I are good about it, we can get them out in ten minutes!

Cliff: Is this the same juicer that I said, 'Mine, mine, mine'?
Rudy: Yes...are you mad?
Cliff: Yes, yes, yes.

Cliff: Is this the same juicer that I said, 'Mine, mine, mine'?
Rudy: Yes...are you mad?
Cliff: Yes, yes, yes.

Cliff: So, you'll stay!
Darell: I don't want to impose.
Cliff: Ha! You're not imposing, have a little dinner with the Huxtable family.
Darrell: Well okay, but only if you let me help with the meal.
Cliff: You cook?
Darrell: Yes, Dr. Huxtable I believe I told you that.
Cliff: [in Sondra's direction] Ha-ha! Come on, we'll all go to the kitchen.
Sondra: That way we'll be done before my ride gets here.
Cliff: That's right, and by the time your ride gets here, maybe you'll have a new ride.

Cliff: So, you'll stay!
Darell: I don't want to impose.
Cliff: Ha! You're not imposing, have a little dinner with the Huxtable family.
Darrell: Well okay, but only if you let me help with the meal.
Cliff: You cook?
Darrell: Yes, Dr. Huxtable I believe I told you that.
Cliff: [in Sondra's direction] Ha-ha! Come on, we'll all go to the kitchen.
Sondra: That way we'll be done before my ride gets here.
Cliff: That's right, and by the time your ride gets here, maybe you'll have a new ride.

Cliff: That's it. You're going to the emergency room.
Clair: What if they tell me it's broken?
Cliff: If no one tells you it's broken, and it is broken, how will you know it's broken?

Cliff: That's it. You're going to the emergency room.
Clair: What if they tell me it's broken?
Cliff: If no one tells you it's broken, and it is broken, how will you know it's broken?

Cliff: The reason I came down here was, I've been thinking, and I wanted to know if you wanted to go look for a motorcycle. :Theo: Are you serious?!
Cliff: No.

Cliff: The reason I came down here was, I've been thinking, and I wanted to know if you wanted to go look for a motorcycle. :Theo: Are you serious?!
Cliff: No.