TV QuotesDatabase
S1 E1

The Cosby Show · Season 1, Episode 1

Cliff, Theo and others in “Pilot”

[Cliff and Theo are discussing Theo's grades and his possible future]

Cliff

You graduate from High school; let's say you just slide by. Now you gotta find a job. Now what kind of salary do you expect for a regular person?

Theo

Uhh, $250 a week.

Cliff

Sit down. [giving Theo Monopoly money] I'm gonna give you $300 a week. Yes indeed. $300 a week, $1200 dollars a month.

Theo

Great! I'll take it!

Cliff

Yes you will, and I will take [takes some of the money] $350 for taxes.

Theo

Whoa!

Cliff

Uh, yeah. You see, the government comes for the regular people first. Now how much does that leave you with?

Theo

$850.

Cliff:

All right. Now you have got to have an apartment, because you are not going to live here. [taking more money] So an apartment in Manhattan will run you at least $400 a month.

Theo

I'll live in New Jersey. [takes back $200]

Cliff

All right, you live in New Jersey, you've got to have a car. [takes $300]

Theo

I'll ride a motorbike. [takes back $100]

Cliff

You need a helmet. [Cliff takes $50] Figure $100 a month for clothes and shoes. [takes $100]

Theo

Figure $200 a month, I want to look good! [give Cliff $100]

Cliff

So what's that leave you with?

Theo

$200. So, no problem!

Cliff

There is a problem, you haven't eaten yet! [Cliff takes $100]

Theo

I can get by on baloney and cereal. [takes back $100] So I've got everything under control PLUS $200 left for the month.

Cliff

You plan to have a girlfriend?

Theo

For sure.

[Cliff takes the remaining $200]

Cliff

[pointing at Theo's empty hand] Regular people.

More from this episode

All quotes from this episode →

More The Cosby Show quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Cosby Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.