[Howard's phone rings]
Howard: Damn, it's my mother.
Bernadette: Are you going answer it?
Howard: I'm torn. She might be dying. I wouldn't want to miss that. On the other hand, if I let it go to voicemail, I could play it over and over.
Bernadette: I know how you feel. My mother makes me crazy.
Howard: Not as crazy as my mother makes me.
Bernadette: Oh, yeah, does your mother call you every day at work to see if you've had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.
Bernadette: Okay, well, does she lay out your clothes for you in the morning like you're 9 years old?
Howard: You live with your mother?
Bernadette: No. That's the sad part.
Howard: Okay, check this out: my mother made me wear rubber gloves to kindergarten so I wouldn't pick up a disease from the other children.
Bernadette: That's nothing! I couldn't ride a bicycle because my mother was afraid I'd hit a bump and lose my virginity.
Howard: Oh, wow. You didn't, did you?
Bernadette: Not on a bicycle. In a Camry. [short pause]
Howard: Corolla! More wine?
Bernadette: I'd love some!
Howard: Listen, you have to come to Shabbat dinner at my house sometime.
Bernadette: Why?
Howard: Well, a Catholic girl like you, wearing a big cross like that, might just give my mother the big brain aneurysm I've been hoping for.
Bernadette: Okay. But only if you come to Sunday dinner at my house wearing a yarmulke.
Howard: It's a date.
Penny: [aside to Leonard] Am I a matchmaker or what?
Howard: Damn, it's my mother.
Bernadette: Are you going answer it?
Howard: I'm torn. She might be dying. I wouldn't want to miss that. On the other hand, if I let it go to voicemail, I could play it over and over.
Bernadette: I know how you feel. My mother makes me crazy.
Howard: Not as crazy as my mother makes me.
Bernadette: Oh, yeah, does your mother call you every day at work to see if you've had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.
Bernadette: Okay, well, does she lay out your clothes for you in the morning like you're 9 years old?
Howard: You live with your mother?
Bernadette: No. That's the sad part.
Howard: Okay, check this out: my mother made me wear rubber gloves to kindergarten so I wouldn't pick up a disease from the other children.
Bernadette: That's nothing! I couldn't ride a bicycle because my mother was afraid I'd hit a bump and lose my virginity.
Howard: Oh, wow. You didn't, did you?
Bernadette: Not on a bicycle. In a Camry. [short pause]
Howard: Corolla! More wine?
Bernadette: I'd love some!
Howard: Listen, you have to come to Shabbat dinner at my house sometime.
Bernadette: Why?
Howard: Well, a Catholic girl like you, wearing a big cross like that, might just give my mother the big brain aneurysm I've been hoping for.
Bernadette: Okay. But only if you come to Sunday dinner at my house wearing a yarmulke.
Howard: It's a date.
Penny: [aside to Leonard] Am I a matchmaker or what?
[Howard's phone rings]
Howard : Damn, it's my mother.
Bernadette : Are you going answer it?
Howard : I'm torn. She might be dying. I wouldn't want to miss that. On the other hand, if I let it go to voicemail, I could play it over and over.
Bernadette : I know how you feel. My mother makes me crazy.
Howard : Not as crazy as my mother makes me.
Bernadette : Oh, yeah, does your mother call you every day at work to see if you've had a healthy lunch?
Howard : My mother calls me at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.
Bernadette : Okay, well, does she lay out your clothes for you in the morning like you're 9 years old?
Howard : You live with your mother?
Bernadette : No. That's the sad part.
Howard : Okay, check this out: my mother made me wear rubber gloves to kindergarten so I wouldn't pick up a disease from the other children.
Bernadette : That's nothing! I couldn't ride a bicycle because my mother was afraid I'd hit a bump and lose my virginity.
Howard : Oh, wow. You didn't, did you?
Bernadette : Not on a bicycle. In a Camry. [short pause]
Howard : Corolla! More wine?
Bernadette : I'd love some!
Howard : Listen, you have to come to Shabbat dinner at my house sometime.
Bernadette : Why?
Howard : Well, a Catholic girl like you, wearing a big cross like that, might just give my mother the big brain aneurysm I've been hoping for.
Bernadette : Okay. But only if you come to Sunday dinner at my house wearing a yarmulke.
Howard : It's a date.
Penny : [aside to Leonard] Am I a matchmaker or what?
http://www.tv-quotes.com/shows/the-big-bang-theory/quote_20902.html
