Psych quotes

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All Seasons
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Gus: Charlatan!
Thorn: Looking whose talking Count Chocula over here please.
Gus: Count Chocula? you must be out of your damn mind.
Shawn: What did I tell you. No one remembers Blacula except for us and Quentin Tarantino.

Gus: Did you know that before he stabbed a guy, he was a life coach?
Shawn: Who would hire him as a life coach?
Gus: The guy he stabbed!

Gus: Do not get up there and start winging it! That's not how we operate.
Shawn: Dude, where have you been for the last two years?

Gus: Do you think it could be PTSD?
Shawn: I think it's slightly more serious than a mere menstrual issue.

Gus: Don't touch that, it's blood.
Shawn: It's not blood.
Gus: Enjoy your hepatitis.

Gus: Don't you watch the news?
Shawn: I can't watch Channel 8 anymore. Lloyd Lansing wears a toupee. It's like every newscast begins with a lie.

Gus: Dude, we actually started an urban legend!
Shawn: That's dope! [they bump fists]

Gus: Excuse me, what happened to the last bunch?
Dutch: Well, we can't talk about it for legal reasons. All I know is our attorney said that, "It ain't decapitation if the head don't come off all the way."

Gus: He was a Hollywood guy. Used to write on Blossom. Decided Spanish soap operas were a better reflection of the human condition.
Shawn: Obviously, he didn't write the Blossom where she adopted a chimp and hit the road in an eighteen-wheeler.

Gus: Heard about Pluto? That's messed up.

Gus: Hey everybody! Look how big I am compared to this airplane!

Gus: How do you just eat when there's a dead guy laying there?
Shawn: What, is that rude? Am I supposed to share?

Gus: I can't get over it. After all this time the chief never said she had a sister.
Shawn: Strange.
Lassiter: And such an alluring sister at that.
Shawn: Creepy.

Gus: I have to get back to work.
Shawn: Gus? The plot is thickening!
Gus: Shawn, I've already missed two days this week.
Shawn: Oh, fine, fine, fine. I respect your wishes. Jerk chicken.
Gus: You know that's right.
[Shawn is now driving, and Gus is just waking up]
Shawn: There he is.
Gus: What time is it?
Shawn: Day time.
Gus: What happened?
Shawn: Uh... I might have dropped six allergy pills in your Frosty while you were peeing.

Gus: I just got a lap dance from Patrick Swayze!
Shawn: What, you mean like an impersonator?
Gus: No, I think it was actually Patrick Swayze!