Numb3rs quotes

339 total quotes


Alan Eppes: I'm a traditionalist. I like to get my news like a human being.
Amita Ramanujan: Yeah, I've seen the human being that gives this report. She makes Pamela Anderson look like a refugee.
Alan Eppes: I know, but she reads beautifully.

Alan Eppes: "You know the first time my wife and I took charlie to the pediatrician for an earache, he wouldn't let the doctor examine his ear because he thought the doctor just might see the thinking in his head. The doctor declared him the second most stubborn kid he'd ever met."
Ian Edgerton: "and the first?"
Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: "Let me guess, Don?"
Alan Eppes: "You got it."

Alan Eppes: [to Larry] Not everyone has the emotional and intellectual resource to search for God in a supercollider.

Alan Eppes: Hey guys! Come on back in, half time is almost over.
Professor Russell Lazlo: Ugh, football! Survival of the witless.

Alan Eppes: Charlie sees math as beautiful, and he wants everyone else to love it the way he does.

Alan Eppes: [to Don] My hope for grandchildren has been rekindled!
(Talking about a dispute between Larry and Ivan Tsgorski over a paper)

Alan Eppes: I heard that, uh, Don was leaning towards the wife.
Charlie Eppes: That's right.
Alan Eppes: Seems to be the first place they look nowadays.
Charlie Eppes: I don't understand. I mean, if you hate the person you're married to that much, get divorced.
Alan Eppes: Even the thought of divorce holds its own special horrors, let me tell you.
Charlie Eppes: Well, you and mom never thought about ... I mean, I was never witness to any kind of ...
Alan Eppes: That's exactly the way we wanted it.
---

Alan Eppes: Listen, Charlie, if you've got one failing, it's only that you don't think like a criminal ... 'course, what does that say about me?

Agent Floyd: Colby! That's my grandmother's name! Let's get going, then, shall we?
[Drags a still-in-shock Colby away]

Alan Eppes: Great! Now I have two jaded, world-weary sons!
Don Eppes: And this one's got a shrink to prove it.

Alan Eppes: Is that Amita sitting in the car out front?
Charlie Eppes: Yeah. We just stopped by for a minute, so I can check this text on encryption and codebreaking.
Alan Eppes: And you left Amita waiting in the car? No ... no. This is not the way we treat people, Charlie. You bring her inside, you at least offer her something to drink. You know, like an adult.
Charlie Eppes: We just stopped by for a second.
Alan Eppes: You came in 15 minutes ago, Charlie.

Agent Cooper: We spent two weeks in a cemetery once, waiting for this guy to show up at his wife's grave. Grabbed him as he was putting a dozen roses on her headstone.
David Sinclair: She died while he was in prison, huh?
Agent Cooper: Just before he went. He's the one that killed her.

Alan Eppes: [to Don, about Charlie] He's not one of your agents! You know that, right?

Alan Eppes: I still have to take a shower.
[Larry holds up the hose]
Alan Eppes: No.

Alan Eppes: Listen, Charlie, when you're dealing with the Government, it doesn't hurt to have more than just the facts on your side.