Christian: You have a daughter? That is fantastic. What about daddy? You pull him out of the drawer for Thanksgiving to baste the turkey?
Olivia: She was conceived in my college dorm the good, old-fashioned way by adding two hard bodies, a quart of rum and stirring.
Christian: Very kinky. Where's papa now?
Olivia: Where do you think? After he impregnated me, I bit off his head.

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