Jersey Shore quotes

97 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2   Season 3   Season 4  



Pauly D: [about the cold rain in Rhode Island] Can't stand this weather. Ya can't get tanned in this weather, ya can't creep in this weather, you can't do anything... girls don't come out in this weather, they stay in the house.

Pauly D: I was born and raised a guido. It's just a lifestyle; it's being Italian, it's representing, family, friends, tanning, gel, everything.

Pauly D: It's so hard to find a good man these days. That's why I date women.

Pauly D: My boss seems to think that my hair is gonna fall off and go into the ice cream. This hair ain't movin' my dude. 150 mph on the highway on a street bike...it doesn't move! What makes you think it's gonna move in a gelato shop?

Pauly D: Rocio seems mad cool, she's definitely not a ho, she's definitely not a stalker...she's cool.

Pauly D: They're cool girls. They're smart and everything, but they want to hook up just as well, but I think it will take a couple of times seeing them to hook up. They're not, like, whores.

Pauly D: This guy definitely wrote down a fake number 'cause who the hell would want Angelina to call them after that?

Pauly D: Through the scuffle, Snooks gets hit in the face again. Poor girl...she needs to take some karate classes or somethin'. She needs self defense. Somebody's got to teach her how to fight or duck.

Pauly D: We noticed beached whales at the beach...oh no, I'm sorry, it was Angelina and her friend Gina.

Pauly D: When I go into the club I have a game plan, I don't wanna waste my time and take home a girl that just wants to hang out, I just wanna get to the business...so. You light it up and then you move on and at the end of the night, you see who you end up with.

Ronnie: [what he would do if he was J-Woww's boyfriend] I would give her dick in bubblegum. I would send her a picture of my dick in a pack of bubblegum and say "chew on this."

Ronnie: I need a mind condom because I'm being mind fucked.

Ronnie: I regret that I got caught. I don't regret that I hit the kid, because he had it coming.

Ronnie: J-Woww's pussy must be rainbows and pots of treasure.

Ronnie: Mike would bang a Gatorade bottle if it had a pulse at this point. Seriously, he would.