Hogan's Heroes quotes
0 total quotesSchultz: [reading graffiti] "Hess is a mess." "Himmler is a rat fink." "Göring is a fat rat fink." [starts laughing] "Colonel Klink is bucking for rat fink!"
Schultz: Eine, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben...acht...neun...zehn...
Col. Robert E. Hogan: Elf is next, eleven, Schultz.
Schultz: I know how to count.
Col. Robert E. Hogan: So do many of the young guards, I think it's how they're taught.
Col. Robert E. Hogan: Elf is next, eleven, Schultz.
Schultz: I know how to count.
Col. Robert E. Hogan: So do many of the young guards, I think it's how they're taught.
Schultz:(In the barracks after finishing his patrol punishment)One thing I don't understand...How could I get so drunk on one glass of beer?
Col. Robert E. Hogan: Never drink on an empty stomach Schultz.
Schultz: You call this empty.(Referring to his belly)
Col. Robert E. Hogan: Never drink on an empty stomach Schultz.
Schultz: You call this empty.(Referring to his belly)
[After Kinchloe switches on a tape of a BBC broadcast in the presence of Klink, Schultz, and the Inspector General von Platzen.]
Klink: Schultz! Where is that radio?
Schultz: They didn't tell me!
Klink: Find it at once!
Schultz: Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
Klink: [as the Schultz and the other guards search] Hogan! Where does that voice come from?
Hogan: From the accent, I'd say England.
Klink: Schultz! Where is that radio?
Schultz: They didn't tell me!
Klink: Find it at once!
Schultz: Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
Klink: [as the Schultz and the other guards search] Hogan! Where does that voice come from?
Hogan: From the accent, I'd say England.
[General Hofstader gets out of his staff car and marches over to Klink.]
Colonel Klink: What an honor to have you here --
General Hofstader: Where is my tank, Klink?
Colonel Klink: Hasn't it come back yet?
General Hofstader: No. Klink, I released a tank to you to put down a riot by prisoners. I see no riot, I see no tank! All I see is a Colonel about to become Corporal!
Colonel Klink: Please, General -- it will turn up! I have searched the barracks, the surrounding areas, the prisoners--
General Hofstader: [sarcastically]: The prisoners? Nobody had it in his pocket?! We are talking about a Tiger tank Klink!! Not a toy dump truck!
Klink:(Shaking his head)
Colonel Klink: What an honor to have you here --
General Hofstader: Where is my tank, Klink?
Colonel Klink: Hasn't it come back yet?
General Hofstader: No. Klink, I released a tank to you to put down a riot by prisoners. I see no riot, I see no tank! All I see is a Colonel about to become Corporal!
Colonel Klink: Please, General -- it will turn up! I have searched the barracks, the surrounding areas, the prisoners--
General Hofstader: [sarcastically]: The prisoners? Nobody had it in his pocket?! We are talking about a Tiger tank Klink!! Not a toy dump truck!
Klink:(Shaking his head)
[Hogan brings in a "disguised" woman in male uniform.]
Schultz: Where did she come from? Don't tell me, but wherever it was, put her back!
Schultz: Where did she come from? Don't tell me, but wherever it was, put her back!
[Hogan is kissing Helga.]
Helga: Mmm, you smell good.
Hogan: The boys whipped up a little aftershave.
[Kisses her again.]
Helga: It's very exciting.
Hogan: It's called "unconditional surrender".
Helga: Mmm, you smell good.
Hogan: The boys whipped up a little aftershave.
[Kisses her again.]
Helga: It's very exciting.
Hogan: It's called "unconditional surrender".