E.R. quotes

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All Seasons
 Season 1  



Benton: Do you know how to start an IV?
Carter: Uh, actually, no.
Benton: I thought you were third year.
Carter: I am, but all I've done is dermatology and psychiatry.
Benton: The well-dressed specialties, huh?

Mark: See, there's two kinds of doctors. The kind that gets rid of their feelings. And the kind that keeps them. If you're going to keep your feelings, you're going to get sick from time to time. That's just how it works.

Mark: ��by the way, I went to medical school with Dr. Benton. He used to get sick all the time. So, don't let him give you any crap. You'll be fine.

Ross: (to the mother of a battered baby) How dare you treat your child like this? He's a little kid! I try to be understanding in my job, but lady, this just stinks.

Susan: Mr. Parker, if there's one thing you learn in my job, it's that nothing is certain. Nothing that seems very bad and nothing that seems very good. Nothing is certain. Nothing.

Benton: (having first spotted Carter) Oh, no! Would you look at this?
Mark: That's the first tailored white coat I've ever seen.
Benton: Isn't he lovely?
Susan: Lovely.
Mark: Do you think he knows anything?
Ross: He knows how to dress.

Patient: Are you married?
Susan: No, I'm a doctor.

Dr. Morgenstern: The unit's looking to you, Mark. You set the tone.

Benton: [Carter gives him an H&P on a patient] Mother's maiden name?
Haleh: He's kidding.

Mark: [about Carol's suicide attempt] It's not your fault, Doug. You're going to have to forgive yourself sooner or later.

Doug: I thought you were some kind of saint. I was going to start calling you Mahatma.

[Earlier in the show, Carol attempted suicide by overdosing on barbituates.]
Carol: I'm here to unload that new shipment of barbituates.
Jerry: At least you didn't kill off your sense of humor.
Carol: No, just a few brain cells.

Carter: You ever get used to this?
Benton: Used to what?
Carter: Going on three hours sleep.
Benton: Anything more than three hours and I'm sluggish all day.

Mark: I was embraced by two men today. I find that highly unusual.
Susan: Some guys have all the luck.

Walt: [to Benton] No, don't hand me that OR crap, already know how important your job is compared to the small events of my life.