LLady
Listen, it seems to me like you have some anger management issues.
I have four kids under the age of six. I absolutely have anger management issues.
Characters
Bree Van de KampMarcia Cross · 79 quotes
Lynette ScavoFelicity Huffman · 79 quotes
Gabrielle SolisEva Longoria · 72 quotes
Susan DelfinoTeri Hatcher · 59 quotes
Edie BrittNicollette Sheridan · 32 quotes
Tom ScavoDoug Savant · 30 quotes
PSParker Scavo23 quotes
Carlos SolisRicardo Chavira · 21 quotes
PSPorter Scavo21 quotes
Rex Van de KampSteven Culp · 20 quotes
Katherine MayfairDana Delany · 16 quotes
Mary Alice YoungBrenda Strong · 16 quotes
Karen McCluskeyKathryn Joosten · 12 quotes
Andrew Van De KampShawn Pyfrom · 11 quotes
Mike DelfinoJames Denton · 10 quotes
PSPreston Scavo9 quotes
SMSusan Meyer9 quotes
Patrick LoganJohn Barrowman · 8 quotes
Iris BeckleyEllen Crawford · 7 quotes
JohnJesse Metcalfe · 7 quotes
BHBree Hodge6 quotes
FeliciaHarriet Sansom Harris · 6 quotes
JulieAndrea Bowen · 6 quotes
Orson HodgeKyle MacLachlan · 6 quotes
Wayne DavisGary Cole · 6 quotes
DanielleJoy Jorgensen · 5 quotes
Karl MayerRichard Burgi · 5 quotes
PhotographerChristopher Shea · 5 quotes
Renee PerryVanessa Williams · 5 quotes
GloriaDixie Carter · 4 quotes
IanDougray Scott · 4 quotes
IMImmigration Man4 quotes
Lillian SimmsEllen Geer · 4 quotes
MAMary Alice Closing4 quotes
MAMary Alice Opening4 quotes
Dave WilliamsNeal McDonough · 3 quotes
LeeKevin Rahm · 3 quotes
MaisySharon Lawrence · 3 quotes
Mrs. McCluskeyKathryn Joosten · 3 quotes
PaulMark Moses · 3 quotes
ZachCody Kasch · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Gabrielle Solis & Carlos Solis (18), Bree Van de Kamp & Rex Van de Kamp (17), Lynette Scavo & Tom Scavo (14)
S1Ah, But Underneath
Julie? Mike Delfino just invited us to dinner Friday night.
He did? Cool.
But only I'm going. Because you're gonna come down with something semi-serious that requires bed-rest and fluids.
So now you're taking Julie on your dinner date with Mike?
Yeah, well, if Edie's gonna be there, I'm gonna need emotional support.
Dear Diary, Mike doesn't even know I'm alive.
Shut up, Julie!
If you wanna date him, you're gonna have to ask him out.
I keep hoping he'll ask me out.
How's that going?
Shouldn't you be making brownies for your nerdy friends?
I can't believe she wormed her way in. How did you let her do that?
I don't know, I was gonna take her out at the knees, but it all happened so fast.
Well, you know what you need to do. You need to get there early, spend a little time with Mike before little barracuda gets there.
That's a good idea. Edie will get there at 05:45, which means her breasts will arrive at 05:30, so I should shoot for five.
It's the age old question, isn't it? How much do we really want to know about our neighbors?
Do you know how bored I was today? I came this close to actually cleaning the house.
Oh God, look at all these things, all these beautiful things that my ex-husbands worked so hard for, burnt to a crisp.
S1Pretty Little Picture
So these tennis lessons we're taking. How are we doing?
My back hand is improving immensely, but you're still having problems with your serve.
Of course.
Can I be frank?
Of course.
I don't care what her reasons were. Maybe she was depressed. Maybe she was bored. It doesn't matter. She abandoned her husband and her son. And I'll never forgive her.
How was school?
I got an A minus in biology.
Show me what you learned.
Lynette?
I'm in.
I'll make braised lamb shanks.
I'm still in.
You didn't put in an obituary?
I've been busy.
Maybe when you die, I won't put in an obituary.
How could we have all forgotten about this?
We didn't exactly forget, it's just usually when the hostess dies the party is off.
Lynette!
I'm not being flip, I'm just pointing out a reality.
The heart wants what it wants.
Well, my heart wants to hurt you, but I can control myself!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Desperate Housewives pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.