Deadwood quotes
197 total quotesAl Swearengen: My oath on this: every day that the widow sits on her ass in New York City, looks west at sunset and thinks to herself "God bless you ignorant cocksuckers in Deadwood, who do strive mightily and at little money to add to my ever-increasing fortune," she'll be safe from the wiles of Al Swearengen.
Al Swearengen: Oh, do you worry for her, Dan? Wandering the muck of our thoroughfare, her tiny self all but swallowed up in horseshit?
Al Swearengen: Over time, your quickness with a cocky rejoinder must have gotten you many punches in the face.
Al Swearengen: Pain or damage don't end the world, or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man--and give some back.
Al Swearengen: Request of the widow Garret E.B. that I may be allowed to call upon her.
E.B. Farnum: Today? Shall I tell her time is of the essence?
Al Swearengen: When ain't it?
E.B. Farnum: I'll aim for early afternoon
Al Swearengen: Stop walking with me E.B..
E.B. Farnum: Yes, of course. And if she pries and pokes and prods me to elicit your intentions?
Al Swearengen: Tell her I wouldn't say.
E.B. Farnum: And if she asks me why you wouldn't?
Al Swearengen: Say you're a pain in my balls that can't desist from inquiry till told to shut his fucking mouth and act on the task he was asked to fucking do!
E.B. Farnum: Today? Shall I tell her time is of the essence?
Al Swearengen: When ain't it?
E.B. Farnum: I'll aim for early afternoon
Al Swearengen: Stop walking with me E.B..
E.B. Farnum: Yes, of course. And if she pries and pokes and prods me to elicit your intentions?
Al Swearengen: Tell her I wouldn't say.
E.B. Farnum: And if she asks me why you wouldn't?
Al Swearengen: Say you're a pain in my balls that can't desist from inquiry till told to shut his fucking mouth and act on the task he was asked to fucking do!
Al Swearengen: Say what you're gonna say or prepare for eternal fucking silence.
Al Swearengen: Sign these documents and leave unharmed.
Alice Isringhausen: I can't trust that, Mr. Swearengen, being that it's not to your interests.
Al Swearengen: That applies to you most, fuckin' sittin' in that chair distracting my fuckin' thinking. If I have to come over there, I'll cut your fuckin' throat for you, pen yet put to paper or not.
Alice Isringhausen: I can't trust that, Mr. Swearengen, being that it's not to your interests.
Al Swearengen: That applies to you most, fuckin' sittin' in that chair distracting my fuckin' thinking. If I have to come over there, I'll cut your fuckin' throat for you, pen yet put to paper or not.
Al Swearengen: Sometimes I wish we could just hit 'em over the head, rob 'em, and throw their bodies in the creek.
Cy Tolliver: But that would be wrong.
Cy Tolliver: But that would be wrong.
Al Swearengen: Summon from Farnum that cunt with the long Kraut moniker.
Johnny Burns: E.B. ain't been over for coffee.
Al Swearengen: Should I ask if Farnum's come for coffee before I get you to summon that cunt? [To the disembodied 'Chief'] Dead and without a body, you strill outstrip him for intelligence.
Johnny Burns: E.B. ain't been over for coffee.
Al Swearengen: Should I ask if Farnum's come for coffee before I get you to summon that cunt? [To the disembodied 'Chief'] Dead and without a body, you strill outstrip him for intelligence.
Al Swearengen: The direction of my thoughts--with the sustained fucking stupidity that you're exhibiting, I hesitate to voice them--is that you might want to train for Phil's former position.
Johnny: Al... I have hoped for this conversation ever since you give me that Indian head to hide.
Johnny: Al... I have hoped for this conversation ever since you give me that Indian head to hide.
Al Swearengen: They're hypocrite cocksuckers. And the fuckin' lyin' instruments and tactics they use to fuck people up the ass can be turned against them.
Al Swearengen: This bloated tick, Claggett, feeding on the neck of the fucking military.
Al Swearengen: Wave a penny under the Jew's nose. They have living breath in them, brings 'em right round.
Al Swearengen: We teach a special sweeping technique here.
[Al indicates Jewel, who is sweeping the stairs.]
[Al indicates Jewel, who is sweeping the stairs.]