Deadwood quotes

197 total quotes


A.W. Merrick: A. W. Merrick, Mr. Langrishe, publisher of "The Deadwood Pioneer."
Jack Langrishe: Ah! Accounting for the halo I see above you.
Al Swearengen: Shit blizzard's early today.

A.W. Merrick: It was gunfire, and it came from your saloon.
Al Swearengen: Has not the press a duty, Merrick, qualifying its accounts in time of war?
A.W. Merrick: Are we at war now here in the camp? Has that fact been suppressed as well? Absent formal declaration, Al, information which affects this community is not my prerogative to disseminate. To do so is my sacred responsibility.
Al Swearengen: Whores currently disseminating a dose, for example?
A.W. Merrick: To inform within decency's limits. We've had this discussion before.
Al Swearengen: Citizens better die postulating than touch indecent ink.
A.W. Merrick: Make a list of the infected whores and account for this morning's gunfire, and I'll publish it all.
Al Swearengen: I won't, fucking Merrick, because neither's to my fucking interests.

A.W. Merrick: And thus the uncharted journey continues.
Al Swearengen: Merrick, please. As we'll be more often in each other's company, when given to utterance of that type--consider drinking.

A.W. Merrick: How many memories, fond to their recollection, have their setting in that tight little dining room?
Charlie Utter: Yeah, well it's fucked now.
Seth Bullock: Anyways, we gotta open soon.
A.W. Merrick: Who would argue that the venue was the cause of these happy memories, nor the bill of fare? The bitter coffee, the rancid bacon, those stale biscuits that were tomb and grave to so many insects. No, gentlemen, it was the meandering conversation, the lingering with men of character - some of whom are walking with me now - that was such pleasure to experience, and such a joy now to recall.
Sol Star: Good of you to say, Mr. Merrick.
Charlie Utter: Yeah”¦ back atcha, as far as”¦ that goes.
Seth Bullock: Yeah.

A.W. Merrick: Is this true, Al?
Al Swearengen: Did he fucking confirm it to you?
A.W. Merrick: I haven't spoken to Bullock.
Al Swearengen: So, then I guess it ain't confirmed. Answer me this fucking question: why in fuck do I find out about this telegraph operator arriving tardily and by accident?
A.W. Merrick: I wasn't aware that you were owed official notification.
Al Swearengen: Merrick, you and me are allies, marching into battle together, and aren't smart-assed replies amongst allies a waste of fucking time?

A.W. Merrick: May I say, Dan, having resumed drinking alcohol, I cannot for the life of me remember why I ever gave it up.

A.W. Merrick: Why did you strike me?
Doc Cochran: To secure your attention.

Adams: When he ain't lyin', Al's the most honourable man you'll ever meet.

Al Swearengen: [on Sol Star] He's a candidate for office. He can't whore-fuck no longer with impunity.

Al Swearengen: [talking to the Indian head in the box] This fuckin' place is gonna be a fuckin' misery. Every fuckin' one of them, every fuckin' time I walk by, "Ooh, how could you? How could you?" With their big fuckin' cow eyes. The entire fuckin' gaggle of ”˜em is gonna have to bleed and quit before we can even hope for peace. What's the fuckin' alternative? I ain't fuckin' killing her that sat nights with me sick and takin' slaps to her mug that were some less than fuckin' fair. I should have fuckin' learned to use a gun, but I'm too fuckin' entrenched in my ways. And you ain't exactly the one to be levelin' criticisms on the score of being slow to adapt. You fuckin' people are the original slow fuckin' learners!

Al Swearengen: [to Doc] Jesus Christ! The fucking gimp finds something useful to do in the fucking brace you made her. Do you think you could treat "Being Johnny" -- always struggling to fashion a fuckin' thought? Every fucking night, I, that could cut a throat and sleep the sleep of the just, spend six fucking wakings trying to fill a piss-pot with my dribble and wondering when I got to be so old. [throws swatches down to Doc] Pick a fucking swatch for a spit rag, use the others for masks, and go about your fucking business. I ain't learning a new doc's quirks!

Al Swearengen: [to his whores, pointing at a sleeping man] Rouse him to spend on pussy, or rob the son of a bitch.

Al Swearengen: Bloodletting on my premises that I ain't approved I take as a fucking affront. It puts me off my feed.
Hearst:How do we know when you are off your feed?
Al Swearengen: You'll start to see me tearing things down. Speeches tonight are canceled. Unless the insult's cured by tomorrow, there'll be further tearing down. Fuck the fucking elections, and fuck the agreement with Yankton. Let the camp return to its former repute: unstable and unsafe for commerce.
Hearst: I'm a great believer in those.
Al Swearengen: Oh, stability, Sir, and commerce? I can fucking imagine. Think of all they've helped you accomplish.

Al Swearengen: How well do you know the other guy?
Pinkerton: Who would that be?
Al Swearengen: That my man Dority killed. The Captain.
Pinkerton: We served in the 69th in New York.
Al Swearengen: Was that a mick regiment?
Pinkerton: Yeah. What were you doing?
Al Swearengen: Cutting throats.
Pinkerton: I was asking whose flag you were under.
Al Swearengen: The famous cocksuckers brigade.
Pinkerton: Is that so?
Al Swearengen: Command of the all-whore detachment. Distress you, when my man downed your friend?
Pinkerton: Let me tell you something, Mr. Swearengen. You don't scare me, and you don't fucking know what happened with the 69th New York. I will tell you this: I didn't like what happened to Joe Turner. Mr. Hearst came to him and said, "Make it last, even if you gain the upper hand and can kill him." And I think that was halfway selfish of Mr. Hearst, whereas Joe could have killed your man and didn't, and look how it wound up. But that's as much as I feel like saying, and that's neither here nor fucking there.

Al Swearengen: Knowing him for an errant maniac, I'll still not believe Bullock doubts me.