CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes

Catherine

What do you think?

Warrick

Oh, he's lying. That's why I took this job. I can always tell when Whitey's talking out his ass. It's a gift.

Brass

I think every new hire should experience an autopsy on their first night.

Grissom

Morning. Gil Grissom, forensics. I'm taking over the case for Warrick Brown. Mind if I come in?

[sighs] How can I help you?

Grissom

I need to give you a pedicure.

Come again?

Grissom

If latex rubber and cooking spray went on a blind date, how would the night end?

A lot better than ours did.

Grissom

I know, Pink Floyd's not your thing.

I have on cowboy boots. I work in a lab. What makes you think "Dark Side of the Moon" synched to the Wizard of Oz is going to warm my damn barn?

Grissom

I just thought it'd be something different.

You want to be different? Pin me up against a wall; lay one on me like you mean it.

You're slacking, pal.

Grissom

How long till we get a hit?

It could be four minutes, could be four days but you can bet your ass she'll give you something. She always does.

Grissom

"Pin you against a wall?"

[Recorded] My name is Royce Harmon. I reside at 7642 Carpenter Street, Las Vegas, Nevada. I am 41 years of age ... and I'm going to kill myself.

Catherine

[explaining the job to Holly, the new girl] We restore peace of mind. And when you're a victim, that's everything. Stick it out. At least until you solve your first. And after that, if you don't feel like King Kong on cocaine, then you can quit. But if you stay, with my right hand to God, you will never regret it.

[Describing Brass and Grissom] Here comes the "nerd squad".

Greg

I've got to warn you, oral swabs don't always read right. Vaginal swabs? No problem. Anal swabs? Money.

Nick

Anal swabs?

Greg

Anal swabs.

Grissom

[yelling at Warrick] We solve these cases regardless of race, color, creed, or bubblegum flavor!

Grissom

I need you to roll up your sleeve and give me a pint of your blood

What for?

Grissom

It's customary for all new hires.

Why?

Grissom

So many reasons...

Warrick

Where'd you get the blood?

Grissom

The new girl. Want to donate?

Warrick

Hell no.

Grissom

You gotta breathe through your ears, Gribbs.

Grissom

You assholes!

Nick

How do you know all this crap?

Grissom

It's our job to know stuff.

Grissom

Yes, yes, Norman pushed. Norman jumped. Norman fell.

Sara

Wouldn't you, if you were married to Mrs. Roper?

Grissom

I don't even have to turn around. Sara Sidle.

Sara

That's me. Still tossin' simulation dummies? There are other ways to tell, you know.

Grissom

No thanks. I'm a scientist. I like to see it. Newton dropped the apple. I drop dummies.

Sara

You're old school.

Grissom

Exactly. And this guy was pushed.

Sara

How's the girl?

Grissom

She's still in surgery. She's not doing very well.

Sara

That's too bad.

Grissom

God, Sara, I have so many unanswered whys.

Sara

There's only one why that matters now, why did Warrick Brown leave the scene?

Sara

Do you know where I can find Catherine Willows?

Catherine

She's out in the field. Let me guess, Sara Sidle?

Sara

I know who I am, I think you're a little confused.

Catherine

If you think you're taking my case, Forget it.

Sara

Ok, we can stay here and argue or we can get out there and find who did this to Holly Gribbs. Two sharp woman are better than one..