Community quotes
200 total quotesPierce: Hey guys, one of those guys just told me that there's an island in Indonesia where you can hunt other guys! I'm booking a trip for August!
Pierce: Vengeance? Ha! I was never one to hold grudges, Jeffrey. My father held grudges. I'll always hate him for that.
Professor Professorson: And so on, and so on, ex-chetterah!
Jeff: ...Did you just mispronounce et cetera?
Professor Professorson: My latin class was fake, Jeff.
Jeff: ...Did you just mispronounce et cetera?
Professor Professorson: My latin class was fake, Jeff.
Professor Professorson: This, Annie, is night school. Every student, every teacher, every class: Figments! Like puffs of hot air from the lips of a ghost in the shadow of a unicorn's dream.
Shirley: [excitedly] Guys, guys, do you know I actually have a civil case against that bitch that stole my husband?
Jeff: Shirley, don't sue a stripper.
Shirley: Why not?
Jeff: She's a stripper: life sued her, and she lost.
Jeff: Shirley, don't sue a stripper.
Shirley: Why not?
Jeff: She's a stripper: life sued her, and she lost.
Special Agent Glenn Keenlan: [Inspects Abed's backpack] He's clean. Although I should probably warn you about this bootleg copy of The Last Airbender.
Abed: Where were you a week ago?
Abed: Where were you a week ago?
Study Group: [Singing] To you!
Pierce: That was weird, how come we only sang the last two words? What happened to the happy birthday part?
Shirley: You know Troy's a Jehovah's Witness, he doesn't celebrate birthdays.
Abed: Annie and I did our best to keep the language on the cake compliant.
Troy: [Reading the message written on his birthday cake] Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.
Pierce: That was weird, how come we only sang the last two words? What happened to the happy birthday part?
Shirley: You know Troy's a Jehovah's Witness, he doesn't celebrate birthdays.
Abed: Annie and I did our best to keep the language on the cake compliant.
Troy: [Reading the message written on his birthday cake] Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.
Troy: Didn't we decide at the beginning of the year that for the good of the group we wouldn't allow any intimacy between each other or ourselves?
Jeff: Troy, we never said ourselves.
Troy: Okay, now I'm really mad.
Jeff: Troy, we never said ourselves.
Troy: Okay, now I'm really mad.
Troy: I wanna see if those wiener dogs are born that way, or if they start off normal and then get wiener.
Troy: I'm a dracula.
Abed: You mean a vampire?
Troy: I don't need to know which dracula I am to be a dracula. Nerd.
Abed: You mean a vampire?
Troy: I don't need to know which dracula I am to be a dracula. Nerd.
Troy: There is a time and a place for subtlety, and that time was before Scary Movie.
Troy: We are forty lightyears outside the Buttermilk Nebula, although it's possible that... [he peels away the graphic on their "navagation panel"] Yeah, it's a sticker.