Beavis: [acting as a waiter] Uh, hi, Butt-head.
Butt-head: Hi, Master Beavis.
Beavis: I was suppose to introduce me, bunghole! Uh, welcome to a restaurant. Would you like to take my order?
Butt-head: Yeah, get me some nachos, buttwipe!
Mr. Manners [grabs Butt-head by the collar]: Listen, you little...t-t-twerp! This is my job, this is how I make money! Don't screw with me! [goes back to his place] Now, how about using some manners?
Butt-head: Manners suck.
Beavis: Hey Butt-head. Don't "screw" with him.
Butt-head: Yeah, he sure does like to touch.
Beavis: He tried to touch my weiner!
Mr. Manners: WHAT? YOU LITTLE LIAR! [starts strangling Beavis]
Beavis: BACK OFF, YOU PERVERT!
Mr. Manners: [David Van Driessen comes in] He's lying!
David Van Driessen: Hey! Don't you dare lay a finger on my students! [breaks them up] Beavis, did he hit you?
Beavis: Heh. Um. Heh. Yes, sir. Heh. He did. Heh. Thank you for your concern.
Mr. Manners: What?! you little dirtball!! [goes to attack Beavis, but Van Driessen's hand stops him]
David Van Driessen: You want to touch my students, I'll touch you!!! [Van Driessen and Mr. Manners get into a smack fight, the students start cheering]
Mr. Manners: I'll get you, you little punks!!!
Butt-head: Uh, no thank you, sir.
Beavis: Yeah. Thank you. Drive through.
David Van Driessen: Stop it! [throws a punch] Stop it!
Mr. Manners: You're dead, hippie.
David Van Driessen: You're going to jail, jackass!
Mr. Manners: You're going down, Woodstock!
David Van Driessen: [throws another punch] Take that, you Fascist!!!!
Mr. Manners: You're hurting me! Security!!

  »   More Quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head
  »   Back to the TV Quotes Database