Annie (to Eric): I've signed up for school today.
Eric: What school?
Annie: College, Crawford. I want to get my teaching credentials in early childhood education.
Eric: Now? You do know that we have 7 kids now.
Annie: We have the twins and Ruthie, but Simon starts high school tomorrow, Lucy graduates high school this year, Mary's out of high school and working and Matt is out on his own.
Eric (to Annie): Matt is hardly out on his own. He sleeps out on his own. He's still a kid.
Annie: Oh stop it. He and Heather are practically married.
Eric: No they're not. That's just what we say to each other whenever we think those two might be shacking up. And Mary is going to college, she's going to go to college eventually... I hope, as soon as she figures out that she doesn't enjoy minimum wage jobs.
Annie: Unfortunately, I think Mary is quite happy with her stint in the world of minimum wage.
Eric: Well I'm not happy with it. With my luck she'll probably decide to go to college when Lucy decides to go and with Matt's we'll have 3 tuitions to pay, oh plus yours. And by the way, who says that Lucy won't have the kind of senior year that Mary had. And Simon is starting high school. Do you remember what it was like when Matt started high school? High school boys are, well they're high school boys. And we shouldn't forget Ruthie, who is well on her way to being more difficult than all the other kids rolled into one. Oh and bonus, the twins are entering the terrible twos. They are not entering, they are there.
Annie: So what are you saying? That the family is so dangerous that I can't take 1 or 2 hours away from them to take one course? I'm going back to school!
Eric: When were you going to tell me this, as you were backing out of the driveway tomorrow morning?
Annie: No, I planned to tell you just when I told you.
Eric: (sarcastically) Well, thank you, Mrs. Camden!

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