3rd Rock from the Sun quotes

195 total quotes

Dick: And what makes that cop's gun so cool? PHYSICS! Kinetic energy generates the velocity with which the bullet exits the barrel, while the ballistics coefficient and sectional density determine the damage to its targets! Guns don't kill people, PHYSICS kills people!

Harry: What matters most is life itself. And the greatest thing about life is not having a purpose; it's about finding a purpose.

Dick: Families don't refer to each other by rank. They use more familiar terms like "you" or "bastard" or... "you bastard."

Dick: Dr. Neesam, I find you to be pompous, judgmental and completely self-absorbed. Would you be my friend?
Liam: We'll see.

"The Columbian": Oh, I got top dollar--I got better than top dollar.
Dick: Well then, by default, wouldn't that become top dollar?

Dick: Harry, are you naked or am I seeing things?
Harry: Actually it's a little of both.

Dick: A terrible injustice has been done.
Professor Suter: What?
Dick: [raising his voice] I said a great injustice has been done!
Professor Suter: [annoyed] I heard you. What's the big injustice?
Dick: Someone has taken something that rightfully belongs to you.
Professor Suter: What?
Dick: [raising his voice] I said someone has taken something that rightfully belongs to you!

Dick: Ah, yes, the "big game." God forbid your intellectual development should get in the way of the "big game." The fate of humanity rests on the outcome of the "big game."
Bug: Is he being sarcastic?

Big Giant Head: The yelling will cease and the killing will commence!
Season 5

Dick: Eddie, you stole my car, but more importantly, you broke my heart. You wanna know what's worse?
Eddie: What?
Dick: That you stole my car.

Dick: [explaining Thanksgiving] It's a national holiday.
Tommy: What, like Big Giant Head Day?
Dick: Similar...except that no one gets thrown into the sun.

Dick: Badgers don't suck! They bite!

Dick: I want to make a good impression on Mary's parents.
Sally: Mary Albright‘s parents?
Tommy: They're still alive?:
Sally: My God, they must be so old!

Dick: Can we take more than one?
Nina: Take as much as you want! Nobody's going to be at this thing.
Mary: Don't be so insensitive.
Nina: [to Dick] Yeah, shame on you!

Dick: How about a new strategy? What about "sad cop, slightly effeminate cop?"